Feeling not right!

Today in history. Tuesday, January 17th, 2012.

I feel not right. I peel off my lips' skin. Bleeding, just a few drop. Oucchh!

I feel not right. I woke up late, again!

I feel not right. I am not betraying anyone. I have the right to choose my own group for my assignment.

I feel not right. I have to traffic my friend into my hostel this coming Thursday.

I feel not right. The Philosophy mass lecture was meaningless and worthless and super-damn-boring!

I feel not right. The allowances will only be received the week after next week.

I feel not right. I need to ask my mom a few hundreds for survival.

I feel not right because I have this not right feeling.

I feel not right because I am easily down and losing hope.

I feel not right knowing the fact that I am not strong and determined. 

Thus, I have to get things clear by now. I have to get this feeling fade away.

Hopefully. when I wake up tomorrow, I have a brighter smile that tells the world that I am right.

Till then, bye...

Not happy!

Seriously, I am not feeling happy this semester. Not happy that I am now staying at the end of the world's hostel block. 

Not happy that I have to walk 10 minutes to the guard house or to the entrance.

Not happy that I have this Room B for two.

Not happy of almost everything and everyone in the house.

Not happy that it has affected my mood in studies.

Not happy that it was major, dominant and real reason why I am not happy.

Not happy that I woke up late almost everyday. Not happy that I have to run and rush to the class.

Not happy that I always get sweat and the air cond was not functioning well. 

Not happy that I was surrounded by ugly society.

However, among all that, I was gifted some good friends. Who says my life wasn't happy most of the time?

I can be happy. Can still be happy. 

Life is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Sadness is also a choice.

If I let those negatives control my life, they drag me further down.

God, you are the reason why I am still strong.

Enough then, bye.

What do you hate the most #3

Hi, all. Such a warm morning. I am sweating though it is 1 am in the morning. Okay, enough of silly flowery languages.

Well now, what do I hate the most? This is the hatred number 3.

I hate it when my life was governed by other's rules and so forth. I hate it when I should have control of my own life but was governed and controlled by others.

I live this life up to my expectations and not yours. I am voiceless at the moment because I knew that I bear it for the time being. I am not so sure if you realized what have you done, how unfair you serve and treat me. How "I don't care about it" actually.

Remind you that this is not all I wanted. You think how can we be together and etc. Then, recall back how and what have you done as long as we together. I am looking forward this semester to have its end. Then, we just say Hi when we both pass by each other. :)

Just continue governing my life, what should I do, where should I go and what next in my daily routine. I let you have the control. :)

Then, I started to have this not-so-good kind of dislikes towards you. Your stupid-innate-nature is the reason why. My language puzzling all over as the mad goes along. Taikkkkk.

:)

Hidung tak mancung, pipi kau tersorong-sorong. Peace yah!

Run out cash!

Seriously, I was running out of cash. I have few ringgits to survive for a week or two. 

It has been 2 weeks away from home and I spend like I have been here for a month. 

I have to pay books and spending on lots other expenses. 

Books are of high demands now. Lecturers are keep on asking us to pay the books.

Thus, don't get freak if I act a little bit stingy these days onward. I need to spend the few ringgits left wisely.

Mom, will call you if I am in the state of desperation. 

Huhh, what a life? There will comes a time when money and currency isn't anything worth for everyone. Then, that will be the time that everybody faces no financial problems. Not at all. LOL!

I am waiting. Still waiting for allowances banked in my account.

Till that, I end this post. Bye.

Go craze and mess up!

Hello!

I am sorry for neglecting my blog for quite some time. I am not away from computer or even banned from using internet. I was here, online but I don't feel to update what I am up to. 

As for yesterday, just an hour ago, I had submitted 2 assignments that was done last minutes. The latest it was done was at 3pm. Still, you can see bright smile on my face.

I know myself feels stress and depress. Because, I acted out of my norm. I go crazy and mess myself up with things that I should not do. I have things to do but end up doing not beneficial things like wandering around and teasing friends doing their work. Luckily, I have 3 free period today and free to do those crazy things. 

It was actually signs and symptoms that show my level of stress. I was! I have friends to talk to, but won't let they know what I feel.

Well, as for now, I have nothing to do. Actually, I got something to do but end up updating my blog. I have no focus, my thoughts are all out from my mind, my body is not united with soul. 

I am really at the state of critical. Critical. But, thanks GOD I am not insane. 

Enough of myself.

I am done with 2 assignments. Now, I can focus on another 2. My movie clip and reflection essay and also an academic writing of 1200 words. Then, I have final exam to sit in November. I must get myself ready for it. I must excel with flying colors. 

Ok then. Byeeeeeeeeeee

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SHUT UP, IZZUL !!!

Day: TUESDAY
Date: 2nd AUGUST 2011
2nd day of fasting month

This morning, in the class, "one girl" asks me to SHUT UP!

SHUT UP, IZZUL !!! She said it TWICE to me! First during Social Studies class, then another one during Language Description class. Macam taikkkkkkk!

She said it TWICE to me and it hurts me like hell!

I have no mood to study and learn LDS tadi dalam kelas!

12:27pm

p/s: Macam dia tu pandai sangat! Kalau dia merapu dan melawak dalam kelas pun x da orang kisah sangat pun kat dia. Macam taikkkk!

Maybe you don't mean what had you said to me, but your actions are too mean for me. Well, maybe I am easily touch and sooooo sensitive. But I hate people ask me to Shut Up in the class, while I am actually response to the lesson in the class. Plus, I am not even making such a loud noise that disturbing people pun. Sorry if you read this. I am not writing it for you to read. Bye, belahhhhh!

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ALONE?

ALONE?
I AM NOT ALONE!
I JUST LONELY?!!!!
I AM NOT A LONER!
ALONE?
I AM NOT ALONE!
NOT ALONE BUT I AM LONELY!
THERE ARE PEOPLE AROUND ME,
BUT...


IF I AM ALONE, SO WHAT? WHAT ELSE CAN I DO IF I PREFER TO BE ALONE. I THINK BEING ALONE IS BETTER, RATHER THAN HAVING LOTS OF FRIENDS AND ALSO LOTS OF PROBLEMS....


I JUST WANT TO BE ALL ALONE!




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Misunderstanding ...

Hello, everyone. Here I am again to share what I had experienced hours ago before the class ended today.

"The misunderstanding..."

Yesterday in the class, I had wrote a quotation "Don't ever come back to a relationship that was ended. It is just like repeatedly reading a book that we know the ending" on a piece of paper, of sake to snap a picture with it. And I had left the paper in the room, until today somebody pick it up and put it on my chair while I was not there. She knew I wrote that, so she just want to give me back. Then, I found it distracted as I want to sit so I put it on someone's table. Suddenly, that someone ask me who wrote that. I purposely said not me. I didn't noticed that she's not in the right mood maybe because she had conflict or fight with her boyfriend. She was indeed thought that the words was given for her to read. Then, before class end, she announced who wrote that, so I had to admit that I was doing that, but it was not for her. Then, she cried. Before class ended once again, I said to her that I had no intention either to mock or write the words for her, then an apology as well. It was my wrong too that I did not admit at first point she was asking me who wrote it. I was played jokes with her without I realized she is not in the right mood. That's the end of the story....

Moral of the story?

• I had realized that not all people can accept jokes
• I should not played people most of the times
• I need to be serious sometime
• Don't ever do that again to the person (only her, the rest still can)
• What else?
• Change for better Izzul Faiz bin Abdul Mutalip!

Suddenly, I really want to cry?! Weird, I need a shoulder but definitely I won't get it. Hahaha

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Yesterday post supposedly Part 2

Hey, everyone!
Here is Part 2 ...

My Part 2 is on event that happened yesterday ...
Yesterday, after class and as I arrived my room, I lied down and sleep, even when my room mate woke me up to go solat Jumaat and I answer him that I'll go masjid later. At last I didn't go masjid pun, then I woke up at 2.30pm to send back the projector that my class borrowed for Learning Support. Then, I met Cyra the daughter and Aleen my niece at the canteen, and they treat me an ice cream ... Yummy yummy !!!

That day, I feel to go out to make my broadband payment and beli colgate, then I'm thinking to go to my uncle's house the next day. Therefore, I finally decided to do laundry that evening, plus hari pun panas ! Then, I count my coins and buat laundry at Blok 2 ... My baju baju are quite a lot, that I have to do 2 times laundry, but before the first one done, it got stucked! HOW? Then, I rush to my room that is on the 6th floor and lift is ROSAK that I have to berlari naik tangga punyalah berpeluh! I count another coins, alamak, tinggal sikit je lagi!!! Lucky that I have six of 50 cents coins in case I have to do laundry at Blok 4 ... Yes, I did! Why?
I try both washing machine at Block 2, both were not functioning ... OMG! HOWWWWW????

I make a quick decision, I angkat all the baju yang dah basah2 that was about a pail and a basket. It is light when my clothes masih kering, but the problem was the clothes basah and sangat2 berat, that I have to carry from Blok 2 to Blok 4 ... I was sweating very bad!!! Arrive Blok 4, I was lucky that nobody used the machine and I quickly masukan the baju baju and coins, and I pray it won't got stuck anymore, and I wait like hell in the common room for minutes to dried up my sweat.. I baru je lepas mandi, then got sweating macam tu, sia sia je mandi ! Dah mandi tu pulak, I dressed punya la vogue and the Breeze fall onto my shirt, kena basuh terus and change cloth pulak! So trouble la that time .... :)

I settle up everything until 5pm and hari pun dah macam nak hujan pulak... I cancel to go out, cancel everything! Nasib baik hari x hujan, even macam nak hujan! Then, I met my bro, kita orang lepak with my friend Charisma on my bro trip to Sarawak during the term break later...
I balik bilik jemur the baju and only after everything is settle, I lepak ngan dorang discuss on his 4 days trip to Kuching Sarawak, and asking me to go Kuching on 14 June later...
Hopefully, I can join him and Charisma... :) Charisma had promised us to bring to lots of interesting places in Kuching!

Then, at 8pm I have dinner date with Baiti and Hikhmah and after that AJ join us after his outing to Mid Valley and then Su join us after the Props' Meeting had been cancelled even though that person announced at Facebook group wall post that there is meeting that night! Kasihan Sue!
Then, Vivi and Sandy join us minum2 and Lepak until 10.30 pm.. We main teka teki teka tekok... BEST!!!

After that, I go to Blok 4 for my Pidato date with kak Amariah and Faizah....
That's the end of the night...
Byeeee.....

:)

Next ... After that ...?

Hey, everyone
Never in my life runs smoothly...
Every minutes and hours, they'll be another problems...
Why is everyone on earth never escape from problems, even when their happy problems are everywhere.

Actually, this entry is dedicated to my bro...
I hope somehow one day he will read this post...
I know you hate to hear and listen the word "sorry" from me, and that is why I stop myself from saying sorry to you, doesn't meant that I feel no guilty for making you like this.

Sorry for unanswered calls, sorry for not replying your text messages, sorry if I was not there beside you when you need me, sorry for not appreciate the loves you want to give me, sorry for the time I had ignored you... Deeply inside my heart, I have reasons for all that matter. I was not purposely make you feel this way, it just I have no time and chance to explain it to you.

You might said that: "Alah, stop giving excuses lah .."
That is the reason why I refuse to explain it to you. When I talk much, seems like I'm giving lots of excuses.
One thing that I would like you to know... I'm not happy now. So, I need time for my own self, I just don't need anyone else sometimes, I love for being alone, and escape my life in IPBA...
I know you will always there for me, but it just that I need no one... I'm not a person who tell them what I feel, not because I have no trust with you or anyone else... But, I love keeping it all alone.

I know I keep on promising you that I will spend more times with you, but in the end, I disappointing you. Today, I really really want to sleep with you but you sound like you "merajuk"... I heard also from Ayein that maybe tomorrow you are going to Kedah for SBE ... Sorry, I didn't know that, because I thought you will be going on Monday...

Sorry for less giving my care to you and less concern about you, but it just few days before, I'm having crisis with some of my friends... Okay, I won't talk much about this okay... Supposedly, I concern about you even more.

Thanks for everything you had done to me... Thanks for not-so-surprise party that you planned. I will always remember that moments for the rest of my life...

I'll make sure our memories together will keep inprint and everlasting in my minds...

I love you bro...
I would like to thank Allah for giving me You as part of life now...

Thanks and thanks...

Also... sorry ...

I love you !!!

I can't sleep !

So, this morning here I am still in front of my baby Dell ...

I just can't close my eyes this morning ...

I was kept thinking about me and people around me ...

I post "panas punya" at Facebook because He did the same too ! "Lagi panas kot" ... hehe

Well, luckily I can stop my eyes from tearing ... 

Thanks God and thanked to Him for making me hurt so badly ...

Hey, this is Izzul Faiz Abdul Mutalip !

Will never ever giving up and losing hope !

Above is my latest picture, it was taken when I had gone out with my girls...

The girls are my best fellow, my family and everything for me ...

Guys, I need a little help from you guys to wake me up from this dream ...

I will fight !!! mua HA HA HA *stutter*

Okay, until now ...

Blog is my Good Listener ... and you guys are the Good Readers ...

p/s: I'm not trying to say that I'm good and was right while He's bad and wrong ... But what had I said is all True ! I've seen His true colors now . One word to easy describe people like Him "HYPOCRITE" 

Why I said so? Only me know the reasons ...

I can't tell you guys more, because I'm not that bad to show offence!

Everyone, wish me a happy day ahead !!!

Bye ...

Happy Born Day Anniversary to my Lil Sis!

Before I forgot, I would like to wish my Little Sister, Auni Umairah binti Abdul Mutalip a Happy Birthday!

Make a wish, maybe I can help to to fulfill the wishes ...

Just to let you know that I love you! 

NAH, here a picture of cake for you !

My Lil Sis, you said to me that you want a new phone. I'll try to get you one okay.

But, promise me that you will study hard for your UPSR next year. Rajin2 tolong mak kat rumah. Nanti kita pindah rumah baru, tolong mak kotakan dan realisasikan impian nya nak design ala2 vintage and old English okay! Nanti, abang beli barang2 kat sini... Can't wait!!!

I miss all of you, so bad I was study miles away from you. 

Abang Faiz rindu jahak mak, ayah, abang izzat, abang haziq, kak erma dan auni ok.

Sayang kelew memin! Neh mun ngak jadi cikgu kena lah abng Faiz melei mcm2 gak aw...

My family is nothing compared to my LIVES!

Bye...

<3

love: izzul faiz :)

The Feelings that should be conveyed ...

Hey, readers. Thanks for visiting my blog and do spend some of your time reading to my entry. I know my blog is boring. I’m not even talking about food or bags or new shoes or new gadgets I had but I’m write about my personal life, hopefully will attract you guys to read. Well, living as me these 19 years is never boring, yet fun! I encounter lots of ups and downs of life. Since I was child, people know me because of my attitude. I’m easy going and friendly with most people. I can sit with a stranger and have a long chit chat session with Him or Her easily. I’m cheerful and I hate my life silence. I love music and listen to it of course. I’m talkative and loud. Sometimes, people hate me because I’m noisy. However, someday somehow they will feel that this world is not alive without my noise. I was known of that noise. Yes, people do like me because of that. Unfortunately, not all. There are still some people who hate me because of that. I out spoken and very direct and frank. But, not all the time. It’s depending on the situation too. I dare to speak out what is on my mind; even I know myself might be wrong or right.

Actually, the purpose of I am writing this post is to explain and express how I feel on certain people. Not everyone in this world is born perfect, and we are born not to judge people most of the time. Since I entered my campus, everything had changed. I found new brand of friends and I have different atmosphere here. I get to know lots of people from different region and walks of life. Until, I found a gang that make up us a group of friends. I close with them, and they are the persons I was first gone out together and dinner together. Most of my new friends here are from other classes. Not to say I have no friends among my classmates, just I have least. My classmates are all “nerd” sometime and rarely make themselves stand out among other classes. But, they are all good and follow the rules. It just sometime they are too lazy to take part in any of my campus’ activities. Well, as not-so-perfect human, I thanked God for giving me them as my classmates. But, somehow I rarely hang out with them during weekend, as I mostly spend my weekend with friends from other classes. Sorry guys! I don’t mean it, but I just don’t know why I feel like you guys disliking me. I know sometimes I was rude and acting stupid and annoying, but it just I feel like I was excluded in the class. That is why, I less spend time with you guys.

Never in my life has my friendship gone smoothly because we have least trust and things related. We being friend like being a family, but at the same time we talk them behind. As we develop the friendship, we get to know more about the person. We know their true colours, the bad and the good. We start to complaint their bad behaviour and so so so. We distance ourselves from them, we start to ignore them until in the end we relationship turn to cold and at last we didn’t talk for quite sometimes. Yes, that what had happened to me and I guess everyone too. This had happened to my campus’ friends. I don’t really think that this seems to be so important, as I friend them only for few months so far, we were just best friend in the campus and I knew them for few months. They are nothing compared to my good friends during school time and my childhood friends. So, losing them is just like losing 10 cent coins, no matter how small the value but it is still valuable. But, they are just 10 cent coins, why should I keep them in my purse if I can bring light 100 ringgit notes in my pocket... To keep that kind of friends just making myself burden, thinking of them most of the time but they will never remember us.

I think, it is time for me to learn how to live alone. I mean, I still have people around me but I walk all alone to the class, to the canteen, to the library because I don’t think so it is important to have companion all the time. Because, we still can do everything alone. Most “everything”! For me, being alone is not another word of being no friends. It just that we need space and time for our own. If we feel comfortable of being alone, that’s it. We should be alone. In the end we will realize that the only person we can rely on and depend on is just ourselves.

People may like or may not like you, but the most important thing is you stay true of what you are. Friends nowadays, behind each of their sweet smiles are backstabbing bitch. No matter how careful you choose your words, they will end up being twisted by others. I just don’t understand why it could happen. Sometimes, I do stand in front of the mirror, what is so wrong about me? Why is that I was always given problems in friendship? Maybe, I was just not a good friend too, the reason why I was challenged of having such friends.

Behind all my happy faces and my cheerful smiles, there are something that people doesn’t know. Well, should I say it here now? You are lucky if you have a chance to read this. I am good in faking my smiles and hide my true feelings. I was a person who actually reacts opposite to my feelings. When I was sad, I pretending that I am okay, like there is nothing had happened. When I feel depressed, I have myself time to do something stupid and illogical, for example? You know how and what is that. If I hate a person, I will always being good with them, sometimes being ironical and sarcasm, also I will hardly tried to make them hurt. I was actually not as good as I appear and from what you see. I still have my evil side inside me. Yes, everyone also has. I turn evil without people realise it. I was true evil if I had hated the person. I admit that no matter how hard I had tried to change the attitudes, I just can’t. It’s nature. I can’t see a person happy if I’m not happy because they make me unhappy. I will try anything to ruin their happiness. See, how evil am I. But, so far I didn’t do it for most people because I do still have “iman”. It has stopped me from doing something that was out of my control. I believe I have no power to punish people except for Allah SWT.

I had writing way to much in this post... Well, as I had said “I would rather write to express”... I have no courage to express my feeling...

Thanks for reading. I was writing this because of few problems that I had this few weeks...

Well, I promise myself not to think about it anymore later...

To God, Ya ALLAH SWT... pada mu aku tawakal. Aku sedang menjalani salah satu ujian yang telah kau berikan pada ku. Sesungguhnya, sedikit sebanyak ujian ini telah menjadikan aku bertambah rapat kepadamu, Insya Allah... Maafkan kesilapan aku selama ini. Sesungguhnya, tiada ciptaan mu yang sempurna yakni hamba. Terima kasih Ya Allah atas peluang kehidupan yang kau berikan kepada ku, atas peluang dan kesempatan aku masih menimba ilmu... semuanya keranamu, Ya Allah...

I should pen off right now. If only I had used this time to write my assignment, maybe I had done. Hehee ...

Bye...

Salam J

Good bye for you ?

Hey, readers!
I wish that He could read this entry because it is dedicated to Him. Why? Because I think that I should now tell everyone about the cold relationship that we had now! And maybe because I should say Good bye friend to you. I know it is hard for me but it is the better way so that I wouldn't think of you anymore.

Hey, thanks for being a great friend of mine since we first met during the interview. I never really expected that we will be here in the same campus and being best friend for quite sometimes. I still remember how we can get along together and being such a best friend ever in this campus. I admit that I like being your friend and I hope you would feel the same too. Even though sometimes I dislike your attitudes for some reasons, however as a good friend of yours, acceptance is really really important. We share the laughs together, we share stories together, we have hard and tough time together, we happy together, we gossip about people together and in the end we being friend with them and it is funny. Yes, I miss the moments that we had spend together before. But, people changed. Each of us had changed, some for the better, some were not. I being friend with you and everyone else. I'm good with all people until I became the middle person of you and Her. I just don't understand why suddenly you hate Her. However how hard She tried to be good with you, still you hate Her. Until, She finally give up. I was confused, at the same time I have to take care of your feeling and I have to listen to Her problems too. Then, time pass by and we were not as close I we used to be before. You were too busy with campus activities and I was too busy with my own activities too, and there you close with someone that once we talk about. You went dinner with Him, you started to join Christian Fellowship (CF) with Him and yes you changed! Well, I don't say it is not good, but it is good that you started to join them to church. You had spend more time with them, and I was spending time with others too. Plus, we were no longer house mate or room mate that affect our friendship. But, I usually come into your room because my room is too crowded with many people coming in and hang out there.

Until one night, She called me. But she's not talking about you but about someone else. There is a misunderstanding between the girls and she called me and so I listened to Her problems. Then, I just don't know why suddenly I want to interfere them and settle the problems. Yes, I post in Facebook so that The Girl reads, just for That Girl to read. There was about 4-5 posts... The next day, I have a promise with my friends to UM's Library to do some research on my assignments. There, I was online and I was shocked to see your new post. I know you were mentioned me in the post. Actually, I'm not even post in Twitter or Tumbler or Blog yet... You were obviously misunderstood. I post only in Facebook for The Girl to read and response but yet you were the one who response to it. You were "melenting melatah x tentu pasal". Or maybe because you "terase" because "you ada buat salah kot kat i"... She called me again, telling and inform me about your status, and I even comment on your status but yet to receive any reply from you. "Nampak sangat you mention I in the post and marah I"... My question is: Why did you react that way to my status although I was not mentioned you!?
Then, I just wait for you to come and see me to see whether you and me are okay or the other way round. Yes, after that I didn't come to your room and you too! That was the day when everything started and ruined. Okay, since I'm not the one who start ignoring you but you, I am still waiting for your apology until the holidays is over. If you think your ego is high, and so my ego is even higher than you. I am a person will definitely ask forgiveness from a person if and only if I had did wrong to them. I just don't think that I had ignored you at the first place but you did. Don't expect me to always come to your room and look for you while you are not even do that to me. Don't expect people to always treating you good and make you feel like you are at the top of the world. You should sometimes stand in front of the mirror and reflect your true self and see what is wrong with you and what is right. You should learn to evaluate yourself and stop judging and criticizes other people around you.
Since we were not okay, we talk about you a lot. Mostly, about the good things. How can we be friend and the moments that we had been together and the memories that keep inprint and everlasting in our mind. We think about you a lot, and we questioned ourselves: Did you think of us too? Or you talk us behind more???
Well, day by day we avoid ourselves to talk about you anymore because we thought that it just useless of thinking on someone that will never appreciate it. Yes, day by day we less talking about you but it just for God's sake that you were suddenly appear in front of us that had make us think of you over and over again. Until now, I make up my mind to say forever Good Bye for you. I didn't see that our friendship will become even better in the future. I had promised myself not to think about you anymore, and left you as a memories that I should never ever remember. You are my past, my bad past. You are once a best friend of mine, but not a best friend forever. Luckily, it was damn easy for me to diminished the memories between us because there's not so much memories that could remind me of you. Not so much!!!
Here, again, I would like to sat thank you for being such a good friend especially you help me a lot of my financial. Thank you for being such a understanding friend when I have no money to eat and shared the hard time together. Thanks a lot for that, but sorry that I should get rid of it from my remembrance!

So, this is my first and the last post that I will tell everybody who reads this about our cold friendship. I did this because lots of my friends did not even knew that we were no longer as close as we used before. Just a few of them who knew this. This post is for you to read. I'm not sure if you stalking my blog, because since we were not okay, I always visit your Facebook to see your latest updates and how is your doing. I bet you did the same too, only if you did. Deeply inside my heart, you did come to my wall in Facebook and read my updates and statuses. However, I'm nor sure if you really did it now because I rarely see you online now. I hope that somehow some day you will read this, Edwin Chabo.
Yes, He is Valentine Edwin Chabo (facebook)...

Sorry for everything! Thanks for the birthday card you had gave to me! I forgive you for the late wishes. As long as you sincerely giving me the card, that could be better.
Remember the time you called me, I was purposely didn't answered it. Because, I hate to hear to your voice. Then, I just reply your text messages simple because I had nothing much to say. That one morning, you had also called me and purposely I didn't answered. I am wondering why you called me, and until now I want to ask you the question... Why had you called me ???????????????

I admit it, never in a day I never forget about you even after I post this. Finally I realized that this way had hurting me so much. Then, I make up my decision to forever forget about you. Forever!!!

So, my last saying is ... I am still waiting for your apology!


Good bye, my friend ....

Your truthfully,

Izzul Faiz bin Abdul Mutalip

not-so-official BIRTHDAY

Hello everyone! 

It has been ages i didn't update my blog. Well kan, it's the end of the month pun, and my internet connection was like @#$%&*. 

I remember that day i nak at least update my bloh, i post entry in form of pictures je (the post b4 this post). Its not that i have nothin to share and post, i do have. thats the reason why i have no time for blog lately. i was busy outside, but weird i'll make sure myself on facebook and twitter everyday, even just an hour per on9 session. my reason is sbb facebook and twitter easy, just post and tweet people response, thats it! thats the easy way to share moments, but BLOG its more details and enjoy to read. haha :)

but i'l promise u guys and upload gbr dalam my blog nih, u guys just tengok gbr and guess wat have i done selama x update blog ni.

So, lets back to my real topic. So, today is 28th of february and tmorow is 1st of march. WHY should i concern bout those dates? WELL, actually 19 years ago, back in 1992, i was born on 29th of february, it was leap year, and i have to wait in every 4 year to celebrate my born day! and this year the date is not existed, next year yes! 

GUESS wat, i'm not even SEDAR it was my born day anniversary! 

on 27th nite, my elder brother wall post me and wishing me a happy birthday, so TOUCH! terkenang balik my siblings and everyone kat rumah! I MISS them, then, the next day my former Thinking Skills lecturer, Mdm Hasnah pulak post a happy birthday wish! woww.... how come they know that i was born in the end of february? hehee

i GUESS this is how machine work, when 29th didnt exist, it will automatically set on 28th, yes, my friend said so, dalam hp dorang my 29th bday akan bunyi alarm tiap2 tahun pun... haha

i GUESS (again) dalam HOMEPAGE facebook dorang mesti kuar bout my birthday kan?

then i was received lots and lots of wishes, which i should not received pun this year.

and i was like cheating the WHOLE world, but i did not, the machine and facebook did. haha

almost half of them mati2 ingat i was born on 28th, some tahu pun i was born leap year, hahaa

till now, i've received like more than 80 wishes on facebook, some on chat, some text me, and some verbally when we met by chance...

so, i GUESS (again) i received bout 100 wishes today WHICH I SHOULD NOT pun ! x masuk kira my best fellow 3 ORANG tuh blom wish i pun! sedihhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

ni sempat i capture from facebook...

till now i still receiving wishes... hahaa but no presents or gifts, just a packet of kacang kecik my dear RUSLAM bagi.... thx!!! its okay, dah biasa x dapat hadiah. kalau korang x wish aku, i will not even SEDAR my birthday, serious! 

wat else huh? so today, kita orng p perarakan maulud nabi and... persons yg i nak wish from X WISH I PUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok, i was like "whattt????" and "huhh???".. LAGIPUN, that so called NOT-SO-OFFICIAL BIRTHDAY!

i nak thanks to this list that wished me verbally:

my room8 ali, hafis, akmal, then rasyid and suresh masok bilik dengan penuh curiga di muka (i thought he'll drag me somewhere ke) and shake my hand, wish me a happy birthday. then, i explain kat dorang, i was actually born on 29th of feb...

then, this mornin jumpa roy mustang and he wish me, jumpa akak flo pun again she wish me, in the class RUSLAM wish me for many times, then met rekha and eva somewhere out the libaray and they wish me, then several friends yg wish x official mean wish sambil lewa je, mcm x ikhlas.... hehee.. then ada yg taw tapi x wish langsung especially my classmates, FRANKLY SPEAKING i just think u guys didnt LIKE ME KOTT!

but would like to puji intan, she text me, she wall post me... and i was like jatuhh hati pulak pada wishing dia, THANKS INTAN! hahaaa :)

and people yg text me, azreen aka MORGIRL GREEN dulu, then intan, then pagi aku bngun lewat gara2 on9 facebook, layan wishes aku bca msj from kak noni, MY MOM (touch) and no one else.... tu jehh, then dapat wish from santa petang tadi, nak blanja makan, tapi malam ni ada event pulak. dah x da kredit nak reply those yg text me, ITU JE I DAPAT. 5 TEXT MESSAGES je nak WISH AKU!!!!!! kecewa, x taw knapa, tapi aku sedih, even malam tadi aku sedih!!!!!!! 

tapi i'm GRATEFUL! i didnt ask for more!!!!!!!

:'(

x pa, siapa la diriku ini kan? hahaa

malam tadi x sedar jam 2 baru aku sedar nak offline, then tido bngun 7.40 pagi, kelas kul 8.00 pagi....

*PAUSE*

just after talkin to my besties SANTA, heee... kan dia nak treat i makan malam, hahaa..

but we've to postponed due to maulud event tunite... hehee :)

so, wat moreeeeee?????

memandangkan birthday ni, i nak post gbr i SUDAH KURUSSSSS!!!! HERE IT IS!

ok lah, penat dah menaip!

should pen off now, batt pun dh LOW!

BYEEEEEE

THANKS READING!

 i want more happy birthday wishes, keep a long wish for next year okehh! hahaa

T H A T . I S N ' T . T H E . E N D

Why is this happening ?

I found this when i scroll down my tumblr dashboard this morning. This was reblog from one of my follower. So, it require me to share with everyone who reads my post!

What is this World Coming to, People are so Disturbed and Have no Shame or Sympathy. Aren’t You Ashmed to do this thing. How Would you like it if that was one of your Kids. No Matter What these Kids Did, This isn’t a fair or treatful Punishment. I Am Ashamed.

Thank You so much, to everyone who took out the time to Reblog this and getting Word out to these poor kids.

Source: Tumblr

T H A T . I S N ' T . T H E . E N D

tomorrow is Valentine's Day

Good Morning! 

I was still awake, feeling well and still fresh... while my other room mates are all depart in their dream world. I have sleeping for hours this evening after having a tough time looking at my works and tasks... OMG!

This semester is freaking busy, I guess or maybe it's early for me to assume. This semester requires cash a lot, patient and more energy. I have no time for leisure only if I manage to organize well my schedule. Only if... I was actually start working on my assignments, yet feel dizzy looking at those articles to read, I have myself time for Facebook a while and update anything I suppose too. Check my Twitter, then scroll down my Tumblr dashboard, it's a MUST for me each day I was in front my Dell :)

Also, yesterday (i mean few hours back) I have no rice for myself to eat, I do feel hungry but I have the appetite. 

Enough, too much of other things not related to my entry actually. So, today is February 13th. Tomorrow will be the day the couples waiting for, Valentine's Day, also my friends birthday! As previous year, Valentine is not for me, never for me to celebrate. 

1st: I'm a Muslim, there's no such celebration for my religion.

2nd: I was always single even my heart was taken, will forever alone without my lovely spouse!

Well, I feel happy with my life now, and I guess I have everything I needed. Of course, I haven't have LOVE yet, but deeply in my heart I was regarded I have my LOVE already!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, 

just a wish for everybody as means I love all of you! :)

God, I want LOVE !

I want to be loved and want to love ! I know my love is forbidden, so open my eyes towards the love as you wanted!

Before it was too late :)

I was tired being lonely, even I was never alone!

-myself-

T H A T . I S N ' T . T H E . E N D

i stay true of what i am

"PEOPLE MAY LIKE OR MAY NOT LIKE YOU , BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IS YOU STAY TRUE OF WHAT YOU ARE"

WE INDEED CAN'T STOP PEOPLE FROM LOVING AND HATING US BECAUSE WE DO HAVE SOMEONE WE LOVE AND SOMEBODY THAT WE HATE

-myself-

it is harder when we pretend to ignore them WHILE we are not!

girls always fake their smile :)

boys always fake their feelings =)

After 19 years living , LOVE conquer my life :)

I love my parents , my siblings, my friends, my teachers and everyone I have met throughout my living and I can't stop from loving them... :)

I was a person who deeply love that someone and a person who love forever, even I know I will never win my LOVE!

T H A T . I S N ' T . T H E . E N D

journal week 3

this was my Language Development journal , so was copy and paste for my new post entry  here ... have no time for blog this few weeks ...

My Yesterdays

Dear Journal,

            I have a hard and tough time thinking of what I am going to write for my journal this week. My lecturer was given us the freedom to choose topic on our own, yet that leads to “no idea” problem. What shall I write about? Or should I change this journal into my diary, so I will have much to say about myself?

            Actually, this few days depression had strike me. I have no idea what, why and how it happened to me. I feel like I’m lose focus and living in my own world most of the time. I am never alone but always feel lonely. Thus, starting on Friday evening, after class, I headed to Mid Valley Mall, five minutes from my campus. I went there by bus, alone. I need space on my own, I need to be alone for some time, I need calmness and I need no one that day. At time I reached the mall, I decided to walk around, went in and out the shops, browsing for nothing in the shops, really have no idea what I am doing in the mall. Then, I feel like I am craving for Mc Chicken burger, so I proceed to Mc Donald and chose seat at the corner of the restaurant. Guess what, I have dropped my drink in front lots of customers and I have only less a quarter of the glass to drink on. I enjoy my meal while my eyes keep on looking at people around the restaurant. I envy some people who having fun that day and why I can’t be happy just as them? Done, I took out my Sparks’ novel that I brought along and continue my reading till Chapter 6. After that, I headed to MPH bookstores to check on latest books. Earlier, I wanted to sit and read but instead of doing that I browse for books from one shelf to another and discovered the whole stores and find some latest novels. I spend myself RM63.00 at MPH. Then, I went to Celcom Kiosk for my broadband payment, and I spend RM70.00. After that, I went in Carrefour Supermarket seeking for foods and other needs as I am living away from my parents, and spend more than RM80.00 in the supermarket. That’s my day of spending cash, and only went back to campus after 10.00 p.m.

            Day 2, Saturday. I wake up at 11.00 am and few hours after that I was somewhere in Masjid India area. I went there with my friends, all girls. The purpose was to seek for street foods and shopping at Mydin. We went back to the campus before its getting rain. Arrived campus at 6 pm, then my friend and I continue play tennis at 6.30 pm and having dinner after that. At 9 pm, we continue play badminton at the gymnasium till mid night. In the room, I found a note on my bed requesting me to wake up early tomorrow because other friends asked me to join them to KLPAC. Having no idea what is KLPAC, I surf for info. Then, I found myself fall asleep till somebody wakes me up at 9 am. My friends were waking me up and they’re ready to go to KLPAC. Rushing, I took light bath and dress myself jeans and t-shirt. We went to KL Central by LRT and took a cab to KLPAC at Sentul West. KLPAC is stand for Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre and that day they were having Open Day which rarely done. We enjoy all free classes on speech and drama, extreme workout for actor, acoustic performances, a sketch and short play, and lots more classes and I enjoy most of it. I really have fun there and hope to be part of KLPAC in the future. I was virgin to performing arts and I fell in love with it. We went back at 7 pm and the time I reached my campus, my friend and I again spend our evening with tennis. This time, we get into the squash court and hit the tennis balls on the wall till dinner. Then, we continue till mid night. Feeling tired and exhausted but I am having so much fun. Sports really help me to release my stress. Now, I feel much better than previous day.

            That is my story of my yesterdays. Feel bored reading it? Well, that is how I spend my weekend in and out the campus. However, I am having indeed a fun time with my friends. At least, I feel much better for my tomorrow. I would like to thanks God for giving me such a wonderful life living with wonderful people yesterday, today and hopefully tomorrow as well. I guess I should pen off now. Thanks for reading my journal.

                                                                                                                                    Wednesday

                                                                                                                                    12:37 am

            

no +ve sign !

HOW TO PREDICT WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT ?

NO EXPECTATION RIGHT NOW.

I WAS TRYING TO CLEAR IT OFF.

MELARAT...........................