Random thoughts

 I was on my bed,

Scrolling down my phone,

Of thousand photos,

From the past.

How amazing it was,

Recalling the memories,

One after another,

And they were still vivid,

In my helpless mind.

Playing, pausing and resume,

A smile drawn on my face.

I had so much wonderful times,

And I know I had no regrets,

That I left behind.

They were a blessing,

Either family or friends,

The things that I asked in every prayers,

They were the answers God sent me.

Then, I continued scrolling,

Because there I found happiness,

To fill the empty space in me.

[ So random that I finally wrote something in this page after so long]

Friday, December 4th, 2020

ALONE?

ALONE?
I AM NOT ALONE!
I JUST LONELY?!!!!
I AM NOT A LONER!
ALONE?
I AM NOT ALONE!
NOT ALONE BUT I AM LONELY!
THERE ARE PEOPLE AROUND ME,
BUT...


IF I AM ALONE, SO WHAT? WHAT ELSE CAN I DO IF I PREFER TO BE ALONE. I THINK BEING ALONE IS BETTER, RATHER THAN HAVING LOTS OF FRIENDS AND ALSO LOTS OF PROBLEMS....


I JUST WANT TO BE ALL ALONE!




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Susan Perabo

Who I was supposed to BE ?

T H A T . I S N ' T . T H E . E N D

journal week 3

this was my Language Development journal , so was copy and paste for my new post entry  here ... have no time for blog this few weeks ...

My Yesterdays

Dear Journal,

            I have a hard and tough time thinking of what I am going to write for my journal this week. My lecturer was given us the freedom to choose topic on our own, yet that leads to “no idea” problem. What shall I write about? Or should I change this journal into my diary, so I will have much to say about myself?

            Actually, this few days depression had strike me. I have no idea what, why and how it happened to me. I feel like I’m lose focus and living in my own world most of the time. I am never alone but always feel lonely. Thus, starting on Friday evening, after class, I headed to Mid Valley Mall, five minutes from my campus. I went there by bus, alone. I need space on my own, I need to be alone for some time, I need calmness and I need no one that day. At time I reached the mall, I decided to walk around, went in and out the shops, browsing for nothing in the shops, really have no idea what I am doing in the mall. Then, I feel like I am craving for Mc Chicken burger, so I proceed to Mc Donald and chose seat at the corner of the restaurant. Guess what, I have dropped my drink in front lots of customers and I have only less a quarter of the glass to drink on. I enjoy my meal while my eyes keep on looking at people around the restaurant. I envy some people who having fun that day and why I can’t be happy just as them? Done, I took out my Sparks’ novel that I brought along and continue my reading till Chapter 6. After that, I headed to MPH bookstores to check on latest books. Earlier, I wanted to sit and read but instead of doing that I browse for books from one shelf to another and discovered the whole stores and find some latest novels. I spend myself RM63.00 at MPH. Then, I went to Celcom Kiosk for my broadband payment, and I spend RM70.00. After that, I went in Carrefour Supermarket seeking for foods and other needs as I am living away from my parents, and spend more than RM80.00 in the supermarket. That’s my day of spending cash, and only went back to campus after 10.00 p.m.

            Day 2, Saturday. I wake up at 11.00 am and few hours after that I was somewhere in Masjid India area. I went there with my friends, all girls. The purpose was to seek for street foods and shopping at Mydin. We went back to the campus before its getting rain. Arrived campus at 6 pm, then my friend and I continue play tennis at 6.30 pm and having dinner after that. At 9 pm, we continue play badminton at the gymnasium till mid night. In the room, I found a note on my bed requesting me to wake up early tomorrow because other friends asked me to join them to KLPAC. Having no idea what is KLPAC, I surf for info. Then, I found myself fall asleep till somebody wakes me up at 9 am. My friends were waking me up and they’re ready to go to KLPAC. Rushing, I took light bath and dress myself jeans and t-shirt. We went to KL Central by LRT and took a cab to KLPAC at Sentul West. KLPAC is stand for Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre and that day they were having Open Day which rarely done. We enjoy all free classes on speech and drama, extreme workout for actor, acoustic performances, a sketch and short play, and lots more classes and I enjoy most of it. I really have fun there and hope to be part of KLPAC in the future. I was virgin to performing arts and I fell in love with it. We went back at 7 pm and the time I reached my campus, my friend and I again spend our evening with tennis. This time, we get into the squash court and hit the tennis balls on the wall till dinner. Then, we continue till mid night. Feeling tired and exhausted but I am having so much fun. Sports really help me to release my stress. Now, I feel much better than previous day.

            That is my story of my yesterdays. Feel bored reading it? Well, that is how I spend my weekend in and out the campus. However, I am having indeed a fun time with my friends. At least, I feel much better for my tomorrow. I would like to thanks God for giving me such a wonderful life living with wonderful people yesterday, today and hopefully tomorrow as well. I guess I should pen off now. Thanks for reading my journal.

                                                                                                                                    Wednesday

                                                                                                                                    12:37 am

            

my story of being a loner

happy mid nite all !

actually, i have less to say here because it has been few days i didn't go anywhere. i just stay at home so do i am, i was asigned to "jaga rumah" my uncle. they went for a vacations to Johor & Singapore. my sister was joinin them as well. so, i'm being alone ths few days. nothin much i do, watchin tv, movies, feed the fishes, cook & eat simple dish, online much, playin badminton by hittin the shuttle to the wall (kinda playin squash, but i enjoy, sound crazy) , AND i thnk that's all. indeed NOTHIN MUCH! but i enjoys!

act, i've plan wth my bff here to have a walk tgther, went for a window shop, for a food out, and so so so. it's not that i've only one friends here in SIBU, but it's just all of them were not here now for sure. hihii. i'll much understand why. it's HOLIDAY! some were there, here, abroad, here & there! kah3...

anyway, i'm quite happy now because tomorrow maybe i'm goin out wth one of my friends. humm, wonderin how it will be?!

i have no car license, but i can drive. yess! but only on a straight road wthout changing gear 4! kah3...

there's 2 car leavin just like a model, cool of never being warm for few days. hihii.

it's ok, i'll make them HOT!

ok, that's all for now!

bye~