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Tuesday, April 19, 2016

When I Got Mad

Hi, there. Peace be upon you, dear reader.

First and foremost, I would like to congratulate me for getting my rental laptop 1 Malaysia connected to the wifi. Since the first that I received the laptop, I wasn't able to use it due to its inability to conect to any wifi, and I used my "besar gedabak" 14 inch laptop instead. Yay, now I can bring this laptop everywhere, anywhere, and anytime. Phewww~~~ It is fucking warm and hot now, I am drenched in sweat and mosquitoes everywhere, biting my plumpy and generous skin. I keep on fanning myself and moving my hands in the air to avoid mosquitoes. Can you imagine the tense and hard time I am in right now? Stressful, the electricity is off for an hour, everyday at this hour. It will off again during midnight from 12.30am to 4am, every single day. If I have never mentioned why, let me tell you this. I stayed over at my "kuarters" or house, provided by the school for the teachers. We don't receieved a 24-hours electricity, but instead we use generator power or "genset" (I have no idea what is the proper word in English), but we still received a 24-hours water supply which the only thing we need to pay every month. The house is FOC, and we are still be given RM300 home allowance every month, how lucky is that?!

*Wait a minute, I heard noises coming from the kitchen and it was Cik Siti (tikus) two of running away from the kitchen to the back door, and I am sitting on the stairs of the back door. It is nearly 6.30pm and the electricity should be on by now, otherwise... :'(

So, where did we stop?

Well, the purpose of me writing this is not to tell you all of the above, instead I would like to reflect on my action to one of my kid in the class this afternoon. It was my English lesson, and I was conducting Linus Bahasa Inggeris (LBI) Bertulis, Saringan 1 until one of them trigger my anger. Well, the class was undercontrol the moment I entered, everything started well and smooth. As usual, I will need to read the instructions to them and explain (actually translating) to them word by word, then I will allow them to answer the questions. However, this one particular pupils, Andre was not sitting still, keep on moving while biting the end-top of the pencil and kept on asking me to repeat the instructions, not once, not twice, in fact it was umpteenth times. The situation had distracted other pupils who were struggling to answer the questions. Then, I move closer to him with "rotan" in my hand and gave (quite) a hard hit on this right arm. He was looking at me in silence, shivering and I tried to keep him down, I nagged softly and offering him my help and promise to repeat the instructions to him. It happened less than a minute when I saw his eyes started to burst with tears, and then he cried. The whole class when silence, and I tried to stop him from crying, rubbing his right arm which was turning red. I pulled his head so that our eyes met, but he refused. Then, Izzul being Izzul, I have no time to "pujuk" him and continued my lesson, it was almost the end of my lesson.

As I walked by to the staffroom, I was doing all this thinking...

"What have I done?" "Should I done this?" "Is he emotionallyaffected/traumatic?" and many more questions ambushed my tiny mind, swishing like clothes in the washing machine. I tried to be calm, as I did this without any intention to hurt him, but to show to him that what he did was not accepted and was wrong. However, was the lesson worth it or too much? Well, as a human, I made mistake and sometimes I went beyond control. This was not the first time, he was the major distractor in the class and today he really put me in a test.

As a teacher, I will try as much as possible to have no physical contact towards my pupils, no touching, hitting and no contact at all. Well, today's kids unlike kids during those days, when you touch them, they will instantly report to their parents and the plot of the story will twist.



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