2024's first!

 Peace be upon you, readers!

It's the middle of April and quarter of 2024, and this is my first post. In fact, it's Syawal the 5th.

I'm here none other than to express my unhappiness; I'm disturbed - by my own overthinking. I'm killed, slowly (literally). Tomorrow is my first day at work after a week Raya break. I'm not ready, never been ready. I lost my ikigai - the reason to wake up every morning. I have no answers to all these. I know for sure, everything that had happened to me was caused by me, with my own permit. At some point of times, I'm lost. I lost my idea to live. I'm getting tired of life - my own life. Again, I have no idea to all these.

I'm sad. I'm tired. I lost appetite to living this world. I do not live the template the society has prepared. I live outside the template. Thus, I don't feel belonged. Deep inside, I know, nobody says we must live in the templates. We create our own life. I know that but I'm just a human, I was easily influenced. My thoughts, my minds.

I felt so much better after writing this. A self-reflection. I'm still fine, but slowly, I lost my sense of living. It has became a cancer that slowly kills me. No, I won't let it kills me.

P/S: What doesn't kill you make you stronger!