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Monday, April 29, 2013

It has been awhile... I dream!

Peace be upon you.
I am still remember, that was 3 weeks ago, I was connected and engaged to this blog and the writing. Surely, I am still remember I was seeking for peacefulness and so forth and I only have this blog that I can trust to talk to.
Well, now, it has been a while I distant myself with this blog. It does not mean that I am happy with my life now and has no messes and stresses. I am still surround by it. It just that I am been busy this all while and last week was hectic.
I was challenged with time management and load of burden. It was a challenged and a test, well I managed to get through all the pains.
This week, everything moving slow and I just go with the flow.
Supposedly, there are no more assignments and this week is suppose to be revision week. There are classes as usual, it just that no more formal interaction or lesson, just revision. Still, there are class.
This morning, I ask my friend and we talked a lot about dreams.
I asked her, what is her dreams? She answered me, definitely not a teacher or doctor because she hated the routines of a teacher or a doctor. A teacher wake up early every morning, dresses similarly almost everyday, and going to church every weekend, meeting family members and friends, and the following week continuously doing the routines. A doctor too, she hated the routines very much. However, there she is, abandoned in a teacher trainee and in few years time graduate as a teacher.
She wanted and dreamed to be a writer or journalist where she can travel anywhere she wanted and write about the people and its culture, anthropologist. She admitted that she is in the wrong path ever since she entered secondary school.
Unlike me, I dreamed to be a teacher since childhood. A teacher is an idol, high pay salary, noble career and so forth, you name it!
But, stepped into high school everything change. I dreamed to be a lecturer, still teaching profession. I knew that I only go for something common and known for most people. I do not dare to be different and dreamed of other careers. Well, that's merely me.
However, I never thought of what I am going to teach if I am a teacher in future?
In high school, been a science student is the most awesome thing. I remember, when my class needed to be reshuffled and streamed when I was secondary 3. I was afraid losing my friends and been separated. Luckily, I am still in the best class with my other good friends.
The same thing happened when I entered secondary 4, almost 3 quarter of my friends earned good result and for sure they will enter pure science class. God is giving me a try again in my life.
Seriously, I wanted to be in science class for the sake of getting together with my friends and for the sake its known as the best class.
I knew and realized that I am no good in science subjects and it is a waste for me to spend my useless 2 years in science class when I ended up learning language now. The worst part is, I am not even love language or anything that I have been doing now.
If people has identity crisis, I have dream crisis. I have no idea what to achieve in this world.
To date, I have no idea what am I going to be in this world.
Till then, I will continue in next post!


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